Keith Elkins

Be More ChildLike.

2011-11-14T06:04:00.000-08:00

“Happy is the person who has not lost their childlike heart.”
--Keith Elkins

Think back to when you were a child and think of how open you were to experiencing the world around you…The excitement of each new thing or experience that you came across. Something as simple as seeing a butterfly or getting messy while finger painting. Sometimes we lose track of the qualities that we had as children.

As adults we get distracted thinking that we have to always be serious when it comes to work and all the adult activities and responsibilities that we have. I am not talking about becoming irresponsible and approaching everything we do as a joke. I am talking about holding onto and reminding ourselves of the value of always being childlike. The following are just a few of those qualities.

Being in the Moment: When children are at play that is all that they are focused on. When they are eating that is all that they are focused on. When they are reading or being read to that is all that they are focused on. They are not thinking about what happened yesterday or what they need to do tomorrow. Being childlike means being focused only on the present.

Imagination/Creativity: Children have the most vivid imaginations on earth. They can sit and play with toys for hours making up imaginary people and situations. When they color or draw it is unbelievable what they can create simply because they have no mental limitations as to what is possible. I have a game that I play with my grandson called the story game. Each one of us tells the other a story that we totally made up in the moment. It gets pretty interesting at times. What story could you make up?

Persistence: WOW! This is a big one. As adults we often get discouraged and look at failures as the end. When someone says “No” to us we simply give up. A child’s persistence is without fatigue. Have you ever seen that small child in the store that keeps asking for a piece of candy or a toy and the parent starts off by saying “No” to the child? Then ten minutes later that child has exactly what they wanted before leaving the store. Now that’s persistence!

Smiling and Laughing : As we grow up sometimes we control our natural instinct to smile more and laugh out loud. Make sure to find joy in the moment and never hesitate to smile or laugh… laughing at yourself is an extremely valuable skill. Make it a point to laugh and smile as much as you can throughout the day. You will change the quality of your life as well as the people around you.

I Challenge you to take an inventory of some of the valuable childlike qualities that we all had at one time and make it a point to start using them to improve the quality of your life.

LIVE OUT LOUD!

Back Out of the Noise.

2011-11-07T05:24:00.000-08:00

“It has become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity”
---Albert Einstein

How many hours a day are you connected to technology? The 800 pound Gorilla, used to be the television but now it is email, facebook, twitter, laptops, smart phones, or ipads. If you sat down and figured out exactly how much time you are actually connected…it would probably shock you. I love technology and I think it’s necessary and valuable in today’s world. I also think that because we are so connected at all times that we have become disconnected to many things around us.

It is important to back away from the noise. Just like going on vacation… when you come back you are refreshed and re-energized. In the workplace it is necessary to utilize technology but outside of work it is a good idea to not answer every phone call or constantly check emails, or facebook. Recent research demonstrates that couples taking their laptops, ipads, and smartphones in the bedroom contributes to marital disconnect. Rather than connecting with conversation and in other ways… use your imagination. It does just the opposite.

How many times have you been having a one on one conversation with someone and you, or both of you are constantly scanning your smart phone during the conversation? The challenge is that everything we do is a habit, so being always connected to technology becomes such we don’t even notice that we are doing it. It’s really about being more balanced in all that we do and making the necessary adjustments to get there.

I challenge you to take time to get outside, have conversations, spend quality time with family and friends and go on a technology fast for just a block of time everyday. You’ll be glad that you did.

LIVE OUT LOUD!

How Resilient Are You?

2011-11-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Setbacks are setups for a comeback

How do you deal with setbacks and adversity? How do you think, feel, and act when things don’t go the way you expect them to? Do you get frustrated, angry, sad, or more determined? We all go through challenges in relationships, finances, career, family, and health. The key is what you focus on the most. If you focus on frustration…that is exactly what will grow and expand. Instead work on looking past the obstacle and focus on overcoming it and getting more creative about the solutions that you come up with.

There are four ways to empower yourself with the ability of being more resilient when challenged by setbacks. They are:

Face It: Very often the basic human instinct when faced with problems is to ignore, or avoid them at all costs as if they will just disappear. We all know that this strategy does nothing but prolong the inevitable. Things don’t improve, they actually get worse. Facing up to challenges is the best way to overcome them.

Handle It: After facing your challenges you are ready to start handling them. At this point you can clearly understand what your challenge is and what you need to do to overcome it. Focus more on building a strategy.

Accept It: Accept the fact that you are not in control of what may happen to you at all times. Life comes at you from some crazy directions and you need to accept that you can’t control everything. Also accept the fact that you are in control of how you respond to things that happen.

Let It Go: I like to say Let go and Let Grow. Challenges happen and if you get angry, depressed, frustrated and hold onto the anger and don’t let it go it will consume you. If you let go of the negative thoughts and emotions and allow yourself to adopt more positive and healthier ones you will be much more successful.

Just remember that obstacles are not there to obstruct you but to instruct you. Get started today in adopting the proper attitudes necessary to be more successful in life.

LIVE OUT LOUD!!!

Be The CEO of You Inc.

2011-11-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be”
---George Sheehan

What if you conducted your life as if you were the Chief Operating Officer of a major corporation called YOU Inc.? How would you conduct yourself? What would be the mission, vision, and values for YOU Inc.?

Most of us wander through life letting life happen to us rather than creating a life that is fulfilling, passionate, and successful…not only for us but also the people around us. Your mission for You, Inc. should be to create a personal business plan outlining areas like your physical health, family, finances, education, spiritual growth, etc. Remember that everything is created twice, first in the mind’s eye and than in the real world. If you never sit down and develop philosophies and framework for each and every area than you are simply wishing your life away. It’s almost like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. You’re never going to get any closer to what you want.

I’m going to give you three exercises to get you started. If you have read any of my articles you know that I have a personal strategy that I call “The Power of Three”. I look at three things that I can do daily to move forward towards anything that I want to achieve.

Exercise #1: What is Your Brand?

Come up with your personal brand or logo for YOU Inc. something that represents you and what you stand for. Please don’t come up with a heart or a smiley face. Design a symbol that truly represents you.

Exercise #2: Who is on Your Board of Directors?

Now I want you to fill six seats on your board of directors with individuals either living or not. It could be someone that you have read about in history that had the experience or values that you need on your board. Take your time and pick individuals that you would want to be surrounded by to give you guidance and good counsel.

Exercise #3: Who is Your Everyday HERO?

Think about someone that is living that inspires you to be a better person because of the example that they demonstrate in their own life.
So, your homework is to complete these three exercises to get closer in making YOU, Inc a Great Success. Get started!

Choose Happiness!

2011-11-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

Valerie’s Happy Restroom

Recently I flew into the airport in Charlotte North Carolina to catch a connecting flight to Costa Rica. While in the airport I was having lunch and then it happened. I noticed a woman coming through the dining area cleaning tables. There was something different about her. She cleaned the tables like Picasso would paint a master piece and with just as much passion. Not only that, she was dancing and singing while doing so. Not dancing and singing like someone who just wanted attention. She did it from a soul level; she was truly a happy person.

I noticed as she went through the dining area cleaning, dancing, and singing that everyone around just lit up. People sitting reading their newspaper or on their laptops all of the sudden stopped looked up and smiles popped up on everyone’s faces like a field of flowers opening their blooms. After I completed my lunch I had to meet this woman. I walked up to her and said. Excuse me, I was having a good day however since I have seen you I’m having a great day. What is your name? She responded with joy and pride “Valerie”.

I then asked her why she was so happy. She said “If you can’t have fun at work don’t go”. She explained that happiness is a choice and that she chooses to be happy and chooses her attitude. She followed up with the fact that she had worked in the airport for two years and she started as a restroom attendant. Not a position that most people would be happy about. Not Valerie though she not only chose her attitude she called her restroom, Valerie’s Happy Restroom. She even posted clips on You Tube. She was than promoted to the dining areas because her supervisors felt like she would come into contact with more people.

I asked Valerie if I could have a hug and she gave me a hug that was so strong it would embarrass a grizzly bear. I asked her if I could take a picture of her and she agreed without hesitation. Valerie then told me that she wouldn’t be in the dining area the next time I came through the airport in Charlotte. I asked why? She said that a company in the airport heard about her attitude and joyful spirit and they hired her to be their organizations customer service representative. WOW! Talk about your attitude determining your altitude. Valerie not only affected the lives of anyone that came into contact with her she also affected her own. Valerie promoted herself from the restroom to the dining room to customer service representative for a large company.

Ask yourself this question; what impact is your attitude having on your life and the lives of the people you come into contact with? You can choose!

LIVE OUT LOUD!!!

Life Lessons from Francis

2011-07-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

Life Lessons from Francis

By Keith Elkins

We all have morning rituals after we get out of bed. After I go through mine at home, I go to the same restaurant for breakfast and to read the morning newspaper. My favorite part of the paper is the style section with the comic strips. Most of the rest of the paper is mostly gloom and doom so I try to skim past most of that. Have you ever noticed that whether its television news or newspapers, the media seems to market bad news because after all bad news sells.

After going to the same place for breakfast for quite some time I noticed a gentleman, who’s job it is to make sure that the dining area as well as the bathrooms and even the parking lot were always clean for all of the customers. He always walked around with a smile on his face and greeted each customer with good morning, good morning always repeating it twice and he never seemed to be in a poor mood. I became quite intrigued by his attention to detail and attitude when it came to keeping everything so clean. This job most people would turn their nose up to thinking that they were too good to do it. However he approached it as an artist like Picasso giving great attention to every detail no matter how routine the task was.

One day I had to ask this gentleman what his name was. He told me his name was Francis. I noticed that he had what seemed to be an African accent. I asked him where he was from and he enthusiastically said that he was from Kenya. His accent was thick but his enthusiasm was contagious and I worked very hard to focus on understanding what he was saying to me. Francis told me that in his home country he was an executive assistant to high level politicians. Francis also told me about how proud he was of his children and how they had worked hard to create successful careers. Francis was responsible for sending money to his children in Kenya to make sure that they could go to school and get the education necessary for them to be successful.

I then did what is normally not very polite but I had to know. I asked Francis how old he was. Francis then told me that he was 63 years old. I asked why he always seemed to be so happy? Francis gave me four very simple happiness principles. They are as follows:

1. Be thankful for your life, your family, and your friends and the opportunities that you are given.

2. Don’t measure your success based on the possessions that you acquire, measure your success on your contribution and service to your community, your family, and society in general.

3. Accept that every challenge, failure or obstacle that faces you in life is part of your lifelong education and helps to mold WHO you become.

4. Realize that all you really need is a full stomach, a purpose in life, and love for yourself and the people in your life especially the ones that are hardest to love because they need it the most.

I still look forward to having conversations with Francis as much as I can. It is amazing how you can meet a complete stranger and have a conversation, only to realize how much more there is to learn about being a completely happily successful human being not just a human doing.

Final Thought:

Keep your mind and heart open, and always give yourself away.

Build A Support Team

2011-03-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.”

Isaac Newton

When you think of successful people either in the present or in past history we focus on their individual accomplishments and successes. But if you explore deeper you will find that no one is successful by themselves. Success usually comes by building a camp of people around you that offer sound advice and support for accomplishment.

It could be family, friends, co workers, mentors or any combination of people that you decide. You will develop multiple support teams for multiple and specific goals. No one group can be specific for every goal or objective.

Successful presidents, athletes, entrepreneurs, and parents all realize that success in every area of life depends greatly on the people that you pick for your support team. It’s like a fighter preparing for that world title bout. You need to be surrounded by people who will support you in your goals but will also give you that kick in the ass when you need it most if you get down or lazy and lose your focus. They will tell you things that you need to hear not just what you want to hear.

When I was a teenager, I made it a point to surround myself with a core group of friends that supported me and that I supported. They also told me what I needed to hear sometimes not just what I wanted to hear. I made it a point to associate and try to get along with most people that I came into contact with, however I always had a small core group of close friends that I chose to associate with.

Start today and determine what you want to accomplish and what support team you need to form. Being a part of other’s support system is just as important in helping you determine who should be in yours.

ASSIGNMENTS

Determine what your objective is and decide what individuals you need to surround yourself with that may have the attitude and/or experience needed for your Support team.
Prepare yourself for the things that you need to hear and not just what you want to hear.
Take action based on the feedback you receive.

Pulverize Procrastination

2011-03-18T06:12:00.000-07:00

Like a Ninja slipping silently into a castle to assassinate the evil warlord because he has wreaked havoc on surrounding villages, you need to slip into your mind and find the thoughts and feelings that have wreaked havoc on your ability to follow through on tasks.

We all do IT. What is IT? Procrastinate! We put off those tasks that we don’t look forward to doing. The procrastinator’s creed is ‘Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?’ We push them to the bottom of our to do list only to find out that they didn’t disappear into thin air and that we still need to get them done. Procrastination afflicts millions of people and has negative effects on productivity and sense of accomplishment.

Reasons for Procrastination are:

Perfectionism
Self-Inadequacies
Lack of Motivation
Lack of Focus
High Frustration/ Low Tolerance

Procrastination leads to:

Wasted Time
Missed Opportunities
Poor Performance
Increased Stress

Overcoming Procrastination empowers your ability to:

Have Peace of Mind
Empower yourself with strength of Purpose
Take Charge of Your Life
Feel Strong, Capable, and Confident

Ways of Overcoming Procrastination

Target and deal with the reasons that you procrastinate and practice doing the opposite.
Set a schedule or a time line for accomplishment.
Chunk the task into smaller pieces so that you see instant progress and so the task doesn’t seem so big.
Rather than push too hard take small breaks but get right back to the task at hand.
Do It Now!
Say it out loud. Get someone to hold you accountable.

Start training like a Ninja today and everyday to assassinate procrastination.

Look for The Best and Overcome the Rest.

2011-02-02T05:27:00.000-08:00

What is your Best? What is your families best? What are your co worker's or client's best? What is best in your friends? In a world that leans more towards looking for faults rather than a good find, it's sometimes hard to focus on what is best in us personally and the people, places, and things around us. It really comes down to what you are looking for. Focus is everything! It's like the idea of coincidence or serendipity. People who experience more of the two are usually more focused on what is best around them and they have a tendency to find it. If you change your focus everything changes. The latest brain research even proves that we have what are called Mirror Neurons in our brains. When someone smiles at you these neurons start firing off and your brain signals that you should smile. Another example is if you see someone yawn. What do you usually end up doing? In a world where bad news sells we need to be guarded when it comes to our attitudes and not let things like media blind us to all the good that is around us. The title "Focus on the best and overcome the rest" has allot of meaning because what you focus on expands and that expands you. So would you rather focus on looking for the best in the people, places, or things around you or focus on the opposite. It's Up To You! You create your world.

Take Action!

2011-01-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

In my lifetime I know that I have had to overcome over planning which led to procrastination and not moving on my thoughts and ideas. Don't get me wrong planning is essential to being successful in any goals, whether they are personal or professional. There comes a time when you need to move froward and adjust as you go along. No plan for any goal is perfect. It's like whitewater kayaking. You know the path of the rapids, you know how to use the equipment, but you need to strap on the helmet get in the kayak, and start paddling.

Your goal is to pick the right current, and navigate around the hazards, but many times you smack into a boulder or you get turned upside down. That's when you learn the most and modify your plan from those experiences. The most important thing is to FOCUS on your goal and the plan you have developed, then FOLLOW THROUGH and take massive action, Be FLEXIBLE and learn and adapt as you go, and most of all do it FAST!

I don't mean fast as in speed, I just mean RIGHT NOW! So, what have you been meaning to do and planning on doing but you have not starting doing? Get STARTED!

Let Go, or Let Grow!

2011-01-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

In our lives letting go is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Letting go of relationships that may not be supportive or even destructive. Letting go of possessions out of fear that we may be losing something. More often than not, when you decide to let go of the people or things in your life that aren't supportive, loving, and empowering you are actually setting yourself up to be surrounded with the people and things that you really need.

A good example is having a friend that tells you what you want to hear, and having one that tells you what you need to hear. It's what you need to hear that matters most. Are you someone who wants to keep the peace or find some inner peace in order to make yourself feel more centered, balanced, and empowered.

Who or what do you need to let go of? It's a great idea to sit down and make a let go list and a let grow list. Kind of like the traditional pros and cons list. Make a list of people, things, habits, or attitudes that you need to let go of. Now make a let grow list that has the same things only ones that are supportive and empowering. You'll find that this type of documented reflection will help you to find the answers that you have been seeking.

So, my final questions is; Are you going to Let Go, or Let Grow? It's up to you!

Influence vs. Authority

2010-07-05T05:49:00.000-07:00

Very often when I speak to groups I ask the question when you were in school how many Teachers left a lifelong impact on you? The highest count I usually get is three. Why is it that number is so low? When you think about the dozens of teachers that you had in your school career from Kindergarten to high school or college that percentage is alarmingly low. My opinion is that it's because the Teachers that left a lifelong impact were Influencers not Authoritarians. Whether you are a Parent, Teacher, Entrepreneur, or CEO of a major corporation, you can lead by influencing others by first of all modeling the attitudes and behaviors that you would like others to demonstrate. Emerson said it best; "What you do speaks so loud I can't hear what you say." As an Influencer it is important to catch people doing things right. So often we all have a tendency to focus on what people are doing wrong. When that's the case then the people you want to lead and/or influence are closed to most of what you say expecting the negative influence. In order to influence you want people around you to be receptive to what you say when you interact with them. Influencing them is about helping them to move in a direction that empowers all. Parents want to influence their children to do the right thing and make good decisions and choices. Teachers want to influence their students to stay focused, and work hard on their school work. Business owners want to influence their employees to be independent thinkers and self starters. When it comes right down to it you can get more accomplished through influence rather than force.

What's Your Vision Prescription?

2010-06-28T07:09:00.000-07:00

Goals, Vision, Imagination, and Innovation are personal ideas of how you see things that could be in your mind's eye. I know as a teacher, entrepreneur, husband, and parent I didn't understand why the people around me didn't always understand my vision and ideas when I shared them. I would be excited and share it with some people and they got it. Others however would look at me with a confused expression or one of disapproval. I then would get a bit frustrated, even upset when others didn't get it.

After awhile I started to realize that it wasn't their fault that they didn't get it. It was my fault in the way I shared it with them. I started to realize that not everyone has the same Vision Prescription. Just like having your eyes checked to see what type of vision you have 20/20/,20/40, near sighted, or far sighted I started to focus on what type of mind's eye prescription people had in order to share my thoughts and ideas. As a leader of a family, company, or classroom you must become the optometrist for new ideas.

20/20 Vision

If a person has 20/20 vision it is easier to share your ideas because they have a tendency to see clearer. Just like you, they have great vision in there own ideas, innovation, and imagination. 20/20 doesn't need vision glasses because they are capable of seeing and understanding out of the box concepts and ideas. They have visual thought process and often see in pictures. The picture of what could be is clear. Their vision is not blurred.

20/40 Vision

Those with 20/40 vision are capable of seeing the vision but still need assistance in making it more clear. They can and want to understand the vision, but it will be up to you to help them get all the way. You will need to give them a vision prescription that is not blurred. Perception is everything. If you look at something with total clarity it makes sense. If you see it with blurred vision then it is more difficult to grasp the same thing.

Near Sighted

Near sighted vision can see things off in the distance, but have difficulty seeing what is right in front of them. They have difficulty in grasping any vision, ideas, or innovation that are here and now. They have a tendency to use statements like one day, or if the weather was better, or if I had a different boss or spouse. They focus more on conditions rather than creating the conditions that create change.You may need the assistance of your 20/40 vision people to help them see clearer and grasp the idea that everything is first created by an idea and a vision of what does not already exist.

Far Sighted

Far sighted vision can't see things in the distance. They can however see things up close. In communicating to the Far sighted you need to share your ideas in chunks so that they can move closer to the distant idea or vision that you have. Remember with sharing you vision with the far sighted inch by inch and everything is a cinch.

So work on writing the correct prescription for the correct vision sight. It will be much easier to get others to see clearly.

Don't Get Stuck In The PLOP!

2010-06-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

How do you handle stress, fatigue, and anxiety? We all have stress, but very few of us have developed a personal system of how to handle it. So often we get so stressed out that the only thing we can focus on is the stress, and like I have said before whatever you focus on expands. I know that in the past the things that stressed me out or caused me to worry seemed so large and after all was said and done they really weren't cause for all that worry and stress.

You need to come up with a series of questions that you ask yourself to analyze how important something is or isn't. This reminds me of a time that my wife and I wanted to take a vacation. We own our own business and vacationing was not always possible. Plus with three children it definitely was a challenge to say the least. Finding someone to keep the kids a major mission. So, Our oldest two children stayed with family. Close friends of ours offered to keep our youngest son who was six at the time.

This worked out great because their son Jimmy was good friends with our son, so we felt confident about the arrangement. We left and had a wonderful time in Jamaica for a week. When returning I remember walking into our friends front door only to be greeted by an excited and energetic Jimmy. Mind you, Jimmy was one of those six year olds that had a vocabulary as if he were an adult that shrunk. He came running up to me and said " MMMMr. Elkins you wwwwon't believe what we did". I quickly laughed at his excitement and at the fact that he was so excited he was stuttering. I responded and said "What did you do?. He said "WWWWe went to the Circus". I then said" That's awesome". Jimmy said"NNN0! That's not the best part". I then said "What's the best part?" He then said "We saw an elephant!" I said "That's really cool." Jimmy again followed with "TTThat's not the best part." Finally I said to Jimmy "Tell me the best part". Jimmy then said" We were standing behind the elephant and we moved out of the way just in time, because the elephant lifted his tail up and plopped on the ground."

At this point I said to Jimmy " It's a good thing you stepped out of the way or you would have gotten stuck in the plop." After that I looked at my wife and said I can use this. She looked at me and just shook her head. Do you allow yourself to get stuck in the plop when most of the time you can step out of the way. It's important for us to remind ourselves that we have the power to put things in perspective in such a way that things just aren't as stressful as we make them out to be. One more thing. Learn how to say NO. That has been a constant challenge for me. Taking on so much wanting help others and make a contribution that the only thing that happens is STRESS. So, step out of the way and don't get plopped on.

The Power Of Three.

2010-06-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

For years I have had that things to do list in my planner and always ended up feeling a bit frustrated at the end of the day when reviewing what I really got checked off. The list was always too long, and pretty much unrealistic in reference to getting things done. I decided that less is more and adopted the idea of The Power of Three. I still have my things to do list, however I have three things and only three things to accomplish on it in order of priority.

Number one being the most important item that needs to get done. If I only get that done then the feeling I link to it is one of satisfaction and accomplishment. Number two then becomes number one and I add one more to the list. After working this idea for a period of time I realized that it was effective in many different areas of my life.

In my business I have the three foot rule for customer service. When I train my staff I explain to them that we want to condition our clients that three feet before they walk into our business they should start to experience good feelings and a sense of positive anticipation. After taking three steps into the business we as staff members should have confirmed that expectation with how we greet them. When interacting with anyone we want to

The Power of Three also works well with personal relationships at home. When you get home, what happens in the first three minutes pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the evening. If you are in a relationship, how you interact with that other person in the first three minutes is crucial. Do you walk in and look around for things to complain about or do you say " I am glad to see you". That makes the difference.

Another area the Power of Three works is Mind, Body, and Spirit. When it comes to mind I often ask people; What was the last book that you read? The response is many times one of confusion. I also ask what are they learning. Whether it is playing the guitar, painting, taking a college course, or learning a new language. Learning new things expands you as a human being. Become a lifetime learner. Remember if you are not expanding then you are contracting. Come up with three things that you could learn to expand your mind. Take one at a time.

When it comes to body. What physically are you doing to be active, eat better, and create the energy that helps you to be more enthusiastic about life in general. The nutrition and exercise industry is a multi billion dollar a year industry. One of the things it does not focus on is what is practical for you. It could be walking everyday for twenty minutes. Very often when I work one on one with students I ask them; How many push ups do you do everyday? The response many times is none or I am not good at push ups. Well could you do three push ups a day? Could you make three healthy food choices? Start small, but be consistent.

The Human Spirit needs to be constantly renewed. It reminds me of Eagle behavior. Most people don't realize that when eagles fly at lower altitudes they are constantly being attacked by crows pecking at them. The fact is, that an eagle could clearly focus on pursuing the crows and kill them. However the eagles strategy is to fly to a higher altitude that the crows cannot reach. What inspires you to fly to a higher altitude? It could be your faith, reading inspiring literature, or that green time of getting closer to nature. Find out what that is for you and make sure you do it when your spirit feels weakened. I think you will see the difference.

What's your Bucket List?

2010-04-19T05:55:00.000-07:00

We have all heard of the bucket list. That's that list of things that you want to do before you die. I was really moved by the Movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman titled "The Bucket List". After watching it I pondered what my bucket list was. I started to think about things that I wanted to accomplish, places I wanted to travel, things that I wanted to learn, and people I would like to meet. Then it came to me, instead of emptying the the bucket I wanted to create a fill the bucket list.

Isn't life really about the journey not the destination. It's the ride that's most exciting. Accomplishing goals is only one small piece to life. Sure you get that sense of completion and accomplishment. But then what? For me owning or acquiring more STUFF is not important at all. When you are on your death bed will you think about all the stuff you had? Or will you think about relationships, experiences, travel, your contribution to your family, community, and the world?

Think of the times when you went somewhere you have never been. When you experienced something like a roller coaster ride for the first time. When you did something totally selfless for another person without expecting anything in return. That's the most meaningful way to fill your bucket.

Life Lesson:

Make a list of things that you can fill your bucket with.
Break it down into people, places, and things, with more emphasis on the first two.
Next to each one write down the feeling you will experience when you put them in your bucket.

Now get started! Remember if you don't take the time to do the lessons then you are no closer to filling that bucket.

Are you Here?

2010-04-09T06:07:00.000-07:00

Forever is composed of nows.

--Emily Dickenson

That old phrase "Stop and smell the roses" has incredible wisdom to it. To me, the most important word is "STOP"! In society today we are so hyper stimulated with the pace of things we forget to stop and seek out what inspires us. With the internet, cell phones, facebook, twitter, ipod, ipads, laptops and whatever else you can think of we are so connected all the time we have forgotten how to disconnect. After all, what is life all about? Don't get me wrong, I use technology just like everyone else but I have learned that there is an off button.

Don't we need to find our inspiration in order to recharge our mental, physical, and spiritual batteries. WHAT INSPIRES YOU. It could be music, art, biking, reading, hiking, writing, yoga, or anything that helps you to get grounded and totally develop the art of being in the present. There are certain people that I make sure that I spend time with that inspire me. I love to read biographies about people who have made a difference in not just their own lives but the lives of others. Reading about their victories and the challenges and obstacles that they had to overcome. That inspires me.

Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed. -- Wayne Dyer

Spend time with children and PLAY. Reconnect with their innocence and the simple way they approach life. They are not thinking about the future or past but being totally in the moment. What a skill that truly is. I have been a professional martial arts educator for close to thirty years. I have a friend that I have trained with over the years that goes to Japan every few years to train with his master who is in his eighties. My friend told me of a powerful lesson that he learned the last time he went to Japan to train. His master had him watch other students as they practiced their movements and explained that you can tell the personality of a student by the way they perform their movements.

Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. Don't miss it. -- Leo Buscaglia

He said that if a student is always leaning forward and into the movement that they are too focused on the future. While another student is always leaning back because they are stuck in the past. My friend's master said that true mastery means that you are centered, not leaning forward or backward and totally in the moment. That example really helped me personally as a teacher and communicator.

Spend Time with Living History.

2010-04-02T05:34:00.000-07:00

When I was five years old my family moved to a farm. My parents rented a house on the farm that happened to be next door to an elderly couple, Mr. & Mrs. Lambert. They were the parents of the farm owners wife. Mr. Lambert would always go out in the evening and sit in an old comfortable chair in his front yard until it got dark outside. By the time I was nine or ten I would go down and sit with Mr. Lambert. We had great conversations. Listening to him was like having a living history lesson. You see, Mr. Lambert at that time was well into his eighties. He had not only seen it all, but lived through it all. From the great depression to the world wars.

I know one of the reasons for my need to spend time with the Lamberts was the fact that I had only one living Grandparent, my Grandmother on my Father's side and never really got an opportunity to spend any time with her. So there was this inner yearning for connecting with that generation.

I learned so much from Mr. Lambert including a formula that I still use today. I call it ASL. It stands for Ask, Shut Up, and Listen. I learned more from him about real history than any text book could offer me. After all aren't text books someone's opinion or perception of historical events. You can't always believe all that you read. Everyday, I would try to do my homework in the school bus on the way home so that I could do my chores and then go and sit with Mr. Lambert. I would also do chores for he and Mrs. Lambert just to be able to spend time with them.

My parents taught me right from wrong. The Lamberts showed me how to apply it through the way they conducted themselves. The way they treated each other, even the way they disagreed was a lesson. I think that so much is lost in our society today. Children don't get the opportunity to interact with our living history as much as in the past. In the past when grandparents got on in age they would live with their children and grandchildren. By doing that they passed on family history, traditions, and stories. They helped to pass on lessons in respect, compassion, and empathy. As adults I think it's important to spend time with our living history. Visiting regularly with senior family members, neighbors, or visiting someone in a seniors home.

In closing, the next time you think about reading a history book, why don't you go instead and talk to one. It will be better for you and it will brighten another persons day.

What's Your Face Value?

2010-03-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

What face do you take with you everyday? Is it one that when people see it they look forward to it or try to avoid it. I am not talking about the physical structure of the face you are born with. I am talking about how you structure your face. What expression do you use most? If you find that most people avoid you or would prefer not to interact with you then you might need to change your face. Not with plastic surgery but with a different expression.

I guess what I am really trying to say is SMILE!!! A smile makes you feel better and makes the people around you feel better. It's not always easy. There are times when you need to Fake It Til You Feel It! But when you develop the habit of smiling more just like laughing regularly you literally signal your brain to release endorphins into your system that are known as the feel good chemical. It's been proven that endorphins are more powerful than heroin. The best part is that it's legal and FREE. Let's face it, there are days when we need to just decompress and take a nap. It is impossible to feel great all the time. That's alright! How about we decide to walk around feeling good at least most of the time.

A smile is infectiuos,

You can catch it like the flu,

Someone smiled at me today,

And I started smiling too.

How infectious are you? Do you inject people with viruses or vitality? I know that I have developed the habit of smiling when I most need it.That is when I start to feel angry or upset with someone or something. I know that if I can smile then I can laugh and that helps me to keep control of my anger or frustration at any given time. You may say that It's not that easy, and you are correct. What habit is easy. It takes focus, practice, and commitment. The more you focus on it and stay committed to it, the easier it gets.

Just think how it feels the next time that you see someone coming towards you that may have an expression on their face that is less than open and inviting. Those are the same feelings and signals that you send if you are using the same expression. I know one thing about life. The older I get the more I realize that my thoughts, expressions, and feelings are all really dependent on what I decide they should be, and not what others or the environment decides they should be.

You will be a much more effective communicator and a whole lot happier if you just get in the habit of SMILING. What's your face worth?

What is Your Agenda?

2010-03-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

"Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager."

---Keith Elkins

Do you start the day with a to do list or agenda of what you want to get accomplished? I know that I do. I need that daily checklist or agenda of things that I need to accomplish, just to stay on task. However, I found that many times I would get derailed from my agenda by the agenda of everyone around me, family, friends, and co-workers. At the end of the day I would look at what I set out to accomplish that day and experience a level of frustration because I didn't even get close.

I would let others impose what they needed to get done on me as if it were more important then what I had planned to accomplish for myself. I am not talking about being selfish and self centered. I am not talking about not being willing to help others. I am talking about you not being responsible for other's to do list. Time management is pretty much a joke. TIME MARCHES ON! We cannot manage time, but we can manage ourselves and our priorities. So, I learned to say "NO"! That was difficult for me because my nature is to help others. But at the end of the day I started to feel a sense of resentment towards the people around me that I love and care about. Not a great feeling to have. Then I discovered that it wasn't their fault at all. It was my responsibility to manage my time as I see fit.

What are your top three priorities for the day?

Because my nature was always to drop everything when someone wanted me to, I discovered that I had literally trained them to expect me to do so. Saying NO was quite the surprise for them. I have developed what I call The Rule of Three. I list in my planner the top three most important things for me to accomplish that day and I stay focused on just that. After doing this I feel better about what I get accomplished and have retrained the people around me to not always expect me to drop all of my priorities for theirs. I now guard my time and my agenda. Funny thing is that it has actually empowered those people around me to do the same for themselves. Interesting how just saying NO can empower everyone.

Who Are You Laughing At?

2010-03-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

A long laugh and a good sleep are the best cures in a doctor's book.

--- Irish Proverb

It's been proven that laughter is a healthy and healing habit. So, why don't we do it more often? The medical community has done countless studies that show that comedy, and laughter actually aid in improving psychological, and physiological well being.The greatest skill we can develop as individuals is the skill of laughing at ourselves. As preschoolers we found it easy to laugh. Then when we started our schooling, we developed fears of being laughed at by our peers or being the focus of a joke. Making a mistake in front of others became painful and created fear of failure, criticism, and humiliation.

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

Woody Allen

Overcoming those fears involves you accepting that failing and making mistakes is a part of a process. Failing forward is an important lesson. Like falling down, if you fall forward, when you get up you are just a little closer to your objective. Provided that you learn from it. The process in learning what not to do and how to correct it. No individual that has experienced any level of success in any area of life has always made the perfect decisions. Keep your sense of humor, and learn to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too serious.

How Big is Your BUT?

2010-03-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

"What you do speaks so loud I can't hear what you say".

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you know anyone that is always talking about what they want to be, do, or have yet you never see them do, be , or have any of those things they talk about. Then when you ask about what they wanted to do, be, or have you find out how big their BUT is. Of course I'm not talking about their physical backside. I am talking about their psychological backside. When asked they always say Yeah BUT the weather was bad. Yeah BUT I don't have enough time. Yeah BUT I'm not smart enough. Yeah BUT I don't have enough money. Yeah But my spouse doesn't agree. Does your BUT resemble this?I know that in the past mine has.

Watch your words. They will develop a mindset that will literally paralyze you from taking action on the things you want to do, be, and have. The YEAHBUT is a mysterious and elusive creature like the Lock Ness Monster. Every time you turn around somebody says that they have seen it or a mysterious picture is taken of something that looks like the monster. The YEAHBUT monster will keep you from achieving the things that you want, simply by calling it's name. Work on replacing YEAH BUT with What If? How can I?

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

Benjamin Franklin

Most definitly when a phrase starts off with a YEAH BUT it is followed with self sabatoge and excuses. Sometimes it makes us comfortable because we have found a reason or excuse to not acheive. Is that really the person that you want to be? Taking baby steps consistently will help us to get closer to doing, being, and having everything that we want. And just remember, when babies start taking their first steps they very often fall on their Buts. Get started today taking those steps and when you fall on your But then you know it's behind you and not in front of you anymore.

What's Your E.G.O.?

2010-03-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

"Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space."

Diana Black

We all have this thing called E.G.O. What is it? Well it can be an incredibly motivating thing when it is used for personal development or service to others. When your E.G.O. drives you to take a sense of pride in learning new things being open minded and always being ready for the people and experiences that you want to come into your life.That E.G.O. I call, (Empowering Great Opportunities). That's when you use your sense of E.G.O. and pride to be good for yourself, your community, and the people you come into contact with. Using that E.G.O. to get through life's challenges and obstacles so you can not just Go forward, but GROW forward.

So often our sense of self or E.G.O. is centered in possessions such as what house we live in, or what car we drive. When your sense of E.G.O. is centered in the pride that you are improving as a human doing and not just a human being then you will start to meet with true success. Success that cannot be measured with money or possessions. So use that E.G.O. energy to improve yourself, because then you can't help but empower those around you.

"Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it."

Colin Powell

Now there is always a polar opposite to every thought process or idea. The opposite of the previous is E.G.O. (Eliminating Great Opportunities). That's when you are focused on your opinion being more important than others. Measuring your success by what you own and not who you become. By being focused on always being right instead of doing the right thing is terribly counter productive and almost paralyzing to any organization, company, team, or family. So the next time you think about your E.G.O. think about which one you will choose.

How Do You FEAR?

2010-03-19T05:36:00.000-07:00

"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret to life."

--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the early eighties I had the privilege of teaching Taekwondo at one of Grandmaster Jhoon Rhee's studios in the Washington D. C. metropolitan area. There were about ten studios at that time. All of the instructors were very competitive and most were either world, national, or regional karate champions. Every so often someone would come up with some new group adventure like white water rafting or rock climbing. Someone came up with the idea of skydiving, so everyone followed suit and we set out and found a school that teaches skydiving.

There was a group of about ten of us in this class. The class was a day long class that covers everything from your equipment to all the procedures for skydiving including if and when something may go wrong. Along with our group there was another group of what I like to call "at risk students". All these guys did was cut up and goof off. I don't know about you, but if I am going to jump out of a plane at over 3,000 feet in the air with nothing but a sheet attached to my back I was going to make sure I listened to the instructor.

Love is what we were born with, Fear is what we learned here.

At the end of the lessons it was time for us to get geared up and go up in the plane and JUMP! The At Risk Group went up first. As we were standing on the ground watching them getting ready to jump there was definitely a great sense of anticipation in the air. Well the first guy jumped and his chute came out perfectly. We all applauded because the chutes seemed to be working. The next guy jumped and the same thing happened. However guy number three jumped and his chute came out fine, but instead of grabbing the cords that help to control the chute he grabbed the release straps and completely released his chute.

Everyone was terrified. He was potentially falling to his death right before our eyes and then at the last minute he released his safety chute and saved himself. I guess he should have focused more in class that day. Well at that point it was our turn to go up. Needless to say we were just a bit nervous but instead of focusing on that, we started quizzing each other on all the procedures we had learned in class that day.

Once we reached over 3000 feet, I looked out of the window and made the comment that the ground looks just like pictures that I had seen where everything looked miniature. My friends laughed and said; you act like you have never been in a plane before. Well I never told them but, I had never been in a plane before. When they found out they thought I was crazy. I then asked; had you ever jumped out of any of the planes that you had flown in? The answer was no. They had flown, I had not but none of us had ever jumped out of a plane.

At that time the Jump Master called my name to jump first. I really didn't want to be first, however there was no turning back. I instantly focused on the things I had learned in class. The jump master was going to give me three commands. 1. Step out onto the platform. 2. Pull yourself out. 3. JUMP!!! The jump master also informed me that if I did not jump then he would proceed in kicking me off because the wind was so strong he could not reach out to pull me back in. Well needless to say I am here today, which means my chute worked well.

You talk about feeling FEAR. That moment that I had to jump was pure fear energy. The one powerful lesson that I received is the fact that we all have fears and challenging things that happen in our lives. Facing your fear is the greatest challenge and has with it the greatest rewards. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of criticism, or whatever else your fear may be, will often cause you to experience what I call FREEZE FEAR. That's when you are fearful and only focus on what can go wrong and what you can't do. I have found that fear is energy like happiness or excitement. To get closer to using it use FOCUSED FEAR. Use that energy to say I am afraid but what can I do about it. Remember what you focus on expands. So get your fear FOCUSED!

Rate Your Gratitude!

2010-03-18T05:24:00.000-07:00

"Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude."

--- Zig Ziglar

If you had to rate your Attitude when you wake up in the morning. How would you rate yourself? Good, Great, or Gross. Not everyone pole vaults out of bed in the morning like an Olympic athlete hyped up on adrenaline and jumps right into the day. We all have our rhythms and rituals for starting the day. I have made it my ritual that when my eyes open up I say "Good morning God" and thank you for another day. Rather than "Oh God It's Morning"!

That sense of gratitude every day helps me to set the tone. Let's face it our time on this earth is borrowed, the energy we are given has to be given back one day, so use your energy everyday to it's fullest. Gratitude is a powerful force in appreciating every relationship, experience, and action that we take. That G in gratitude is how I measure my attitude towards the day. I ask myself are you Great, Good, or GROSS? If you ask the right question you will get the right answer. Sometimes the answer is GROSS. At that point I can determine whether I want to correct it or just be gross that day. It's a choice!

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

John F. Kennedy

When you think about it. How fast can you change? Just like that! Many people will say it's not that easy. Well if it was all that easy everyone would do it. Ask a better question; How important is it to me? Remember, How quickly can you get mad? Just like that! How quickly can you get sad? Just like that. What you focus on expands. So, watch what you focus on. Your thoughts are so powerful and many times conditioned. You have the ability to re condition your present thought process if it is important to you.

Just keep in mind. On a scale from 1 to 10. What is your Gratitude for the day? RATE YOURSELF!

I.Q. Vs. I WILL

2010-03-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

"The key to success is to take massive, determined action."

--- Tony Robbins

My post is really about taking action and not procrastinating. Very often we all have a tendency to wait for the perfect situation or the perfect time to take action on the things we want to do, have, or be. If that's the case start building that casket and jump in because there is no perfect time other then that moment you decide. If you are waiting for the economy to get better, or the new president to be in office, or for everyone to agree with your decisions, then you are likely to fail before taking the first step.

I have been full of shoulds in the past and have to watch myself even to this day. Things like I should workout today, or I should eat better, or I should spend more time with my family. I finally decided to stop shoulding all over myself. Just like that Nike slogan "Just Do It". When you decide, get committed on what you decide and GO! Oh, that's it though, that dreaded word Commitment! If we commit ourselves there is no turning back and that may be painful because we can't just quit when we want to.

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing."

Albert Einstein

We live in a society today that has such a commitment phobia that now more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Parental cop out is rampant with parents not making the statement to there children "Me Parent You Child". There should be no grey area when it comes to that. Parents wanting to save their children from experiencing any disappointment or failure. These are all processes that help to form their character. They need to experience them and as a parent we need to teach them how to use adversity to improve their lives.Discipline is empowering for children now and in there future.

Let's face it, making progress in your career, relationships, parenting, finances, spirituality or just about anything else is not so much about your I.Q. as it is about your I WILL. What are you willing to do right now to take a step in the direction of creating a life that you have only imagined. We all have within us everything we need if we just get started.