Life Lessons from Francis

Life Lessons from Francis

By Keith Elkins

We all have morning rituals after we get out of bed. After I go through mine at home, I go to the same restaurant for breakfast and to read the morning newspaper. My favorite part of the paper is the style section with the comic strips. Most of the rest of the paper is mostly gloom and doom so I try to skim past most of that. Have you ever noticed that whether its television news or newspapers, the media seems to market bad news because after all bad news sells.

After going to the same place for breakfast for quite some time I noticed a gentleman, who’s job it is to make sure that the dining area as well as the bathrooms and even the parking lot were always clean for all of the customers. He always walked around with a smile on his face and greeted each customer with good morning, good morning always repeating it twice and he never seemed to be in a poor mood. I became quite intrigued by his attention to detail and attitude when it came to keeping everything so clean. This job most people would turn their nose up to thinking that they were too good to do it. However he approached it as an artist like Picasso giving great attention to every detail no matter how routine the task was.

One day I had to ask this gentleman what his name was. He told me his name was Francis. I noticed that he had what seemed to be an African accent. I asked him where he was from and he enthusiastically said that he was from Kenya. His accent was thick but his enthusiasm was contagious and I worked very hard to focus on understanding what he was saying to me. Francis told me that in his home country he was an executive assistant to high level politicians. Francis also told me about how proud he was of his children and how they had worked hard to create successful careers. Francis was responsible for sending money to his children in Kenya to make sure that they could go to school and get the education necessary for them to be successful.

I then did what is normally not very polite but I had to know. I asked Francis how old he was. Francis then told me that he was 63 years old. I asked why he always seemed to be so happy? Francis gave me four very simple happiness principles. They are as follows:

1. Be thankful for your life, your family, and your friends and the opportunities that you are given.

2. Don’t measure your success based on the possessions that you acquire, measure your success on your contribution and service to your community, your family, and society in general.

3. Accept that every challenge, failure or obstacle that faces you in life is part of your lifelong education and helps to mold WHO you become.

4. Realize that all you really need is a full stomach, a purpose in life, and love for yourself and the people in your life especially the ones that are hardest to love because they need it the most.

I still look forward to having conversations with Francis as much as I can. It is amazing how you can meet a complete stranger and have a conversation, only to realize how much more there is to learn about being a completely happily successful human being not just a human doing.

Final Thought:

Keep your mind and heart open, and always give yourself away.

Build A Support Team

“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.”

Isaac Newton

When you think of successful people either in the present or in past history we focus on their individual accomplishments and successes. But if you explore deeper you will find that no one is successful by themselves. Success usually comes by building a camp of people around you that offer sound advice and support for accomplishment.

It could be family, friends, co workers, mentors or any combination of people that you decide. You will develop multiple support teams for multiple and specific goals. No one group can be specific for every goal or objective.

Successful presidents, athletes, entrepreneurs, and parents all realize that success in every area of life depends greatly on the people that you pick for your support team. It’s like a fighter preparing for that world title bout. You need to be surrounded by people who will support you in your goals but will also give you that kick in the ass when you need it most if you get down or lazy and lose your focus. They will tell you things that you need to hear not just what you want to hear.

When I was a teenager, I made it a point to surround myself with a core group of friends that supported me and that I supported. They also told me what I needed to hear sometimes not just what I wanted to hear. I made it a point to associate and try to get along with most people that I came into contact with, however I always had a small core group of close friends that I chose to associate with.

Start today and determine what you want to accomplish and what support team you need to form. Being a part of other’s support system is just as important in helping you determine who should be in yours.

ASSIGNMENTS

1. Determine what your objective is and decide what individuals you need to surround yourself with that may have the attitude and/or experience needed for your Support team.
2. Prepare yourself for the things that you need to hear and not just what you want to hear.
3. Take action based on the feedback you receive.

Pulverize Procrastination

Like a Ninja slipping silently into a castle to assassinate the evil warlord because he has wreaked havoc on surrounding villages, you need to slip into your mind and find the thoughts and feelings that have wreaked havoc on your ability to follow through on tasks. We all do IT. What is IT? Procrastinate! We put off those tasks that we don’t look forward to doing. The procrastinator’s creed is ‘Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?’ We push them to the bottom of our to do list only to find out that they didn’t disappear into thin air and that we still need to get them done. Procrastination afflicts millions of people and has negative effects on productivity and sense of accomplishment. Reasons for Procrastination are: Perfectionism Self-Inadequacies Lack of Motivation Lack of Focus High Frustration/ Low Tolerance Procrastination leads to: Wasted Time Missed Opportunities Poor Performance Increased Stress Overcoming Procrastination empowers your ability to: Have Peace of Mind Empower yourself with strength of Purpose Take Charge of Your Life Feel Strong, Capable, and Confident Ways of Overcoming Procrastination Target and deal with the reasons that you procrastinate and practice doing the opposite. Set a schedule or a time line for accomplishment. Chunk the task into smaller pieces so that you see instant progress and so the task doesn’t seem so big. Rather than push too hard take small breaks but get right back to the task at hand. Do It Now! Say it out loud. Get someone to hold you accountable. Start training like a Ninja today and everyday to assassinate procrastination.

Look for The Best and Overcome the Rest.

What is your Best? What is your families best? What are your co worker's or client's best? What is best in your friends? In a world that leans more towards looking for faults rather than a good find, it's sometimes hard to focus on what is best in us personally and the people, places, and things around us. It really comes down to what you are looking for. Focus is everything! It's like the idea of coincidence or serendipity. People who experience more of the two are usually more focused on what is best around them and they have a tendency to find it. If you change your focus everything changes. The latest brain research even proves that we have what are called Mirror Neurons in our brains. When someone smiles at you these neurons start firing off and your brain signals that you should smile. Another example is if you see someone yawn. What do you usually end up doing? In a world where bad news sells we need to be guarded when it comes to our attitudes and not let things like media blind us to all the good that is around us. The title "Focus on the best and overcome the rest" has allot of meaning because what you focus on expands and that expands you. So would you rather focus on looking for the best in the people, places, or things around you or focus on the opposite. It's Up To You! You create your world.

Take Action!

In my lifetime I know that I have had to overcome over planning which led to procrastination and not moving on my thoughts and ideas. Don't get me wrong planning is essential to being successful in any goals, whether they are personal or professional. There comes a time when you need to move froward and adjust as you go along. No plan for any goal is perfect. It's like whitewater kayaking. You know the path of the rapids, you know how to use the equipment, but you need to strap on the helmet get in the kayak, and start paddling.

Your goal is to pick the right current, and navigate around the hazards, but many times you smack into a boulder or you get turned upside down. That's when you learn the most and modify your plan from those experiences. The most important thing is to FOCUS on your goal and the plan you have developed, then FOLLOW THROUGH and take massive action, Be FLEXIBLE and learn and adapt as you go, and most of all do it FAST!

I don't mean fast as in speed, I just mean RIGHT NOW! So, what have you been meaning to do and planning on doing but you have not starting doing? Get STARTED!

Let Go, or Let Grow!

In our lives letting go is sometimes the hardest thing to do. Letting go of relationships that may not be supportive or even destructive. Letting go of possessions out of fear that we may be losing something. More often than not, when you decide to let go of the people or things in your life that aren't supportive, loving, and empowering you are actually setting yourself up to be surrounded with the people and things that you really need.

A good example is having a friend that tells you what you want to hear, and having one that tells you what you need to hear. It's what you need to hear that matters most. Are you someone who wants to keep the peace or find some inner peace in order to make yourself feel more centered, balanced, and empowered.

Who or what do you need to let go of? It's a great idea to sit down and make a let go list and a let grow list. Kind of like the traditional pros and cons list. Make a list of people, things, habits, or attitudes that you need to let go of. Now make a let grow list that has the same things only ones that are supportive and empowering. You'll find that this type of documented reflection will help you to find the answers that you have been seeking.

So, my final questions is; Are you going to Let Go, or Let Grow? It's up to you!

Influence vs. Authority

Very often when I speak to groups I ask the question when you were in school how many Teachers left a lifelong impact on you? The highest count I usually get is three. Why is it that number is so low? When you think about the dozens of teachers that you had in your school career from Kindergarten to high school or college that percentage is alarmingly low. My opinion is that it's because the Teachers that left a lifelong impact were Influencers not Authoritarians. Whether you are a Parent, Teacher, Entrepreneur, or CEO of a major corporation, you can lead by influencing others by first of all modeling the attitudes and behaviors that you would like others to demonstrate. Emerson said it best; "What you do speaks so loud I can't hear what you say." As an Influencer it is important to catch people doing things right. So often we all have a tendency to focus on what people are doing wrong. When that's the case then the people you want to lead and/or influence are closed to most of what you say expecting the negative influence. In order to influence you want people around you to be receptive to what you say when you interact with them. Influencing them is about helping them to move in a direction that empowers all. Parents want to influence their children to do the right thing and make good decisions and choices. Teachers want to influence their students to stay focused, and work hard on their school work. Business owners want to influence their employees to be independent thinkers and self starters. When it comes right down to it you can get more accomplished through influence rather than force.