Spend Time with Living History.

When I was five years old my family moved to a farm. My parents rented a house on the farm that happened to be next door to an elderly couple, Mr. & Mrs. Lambert. They were the parents of the farm owners wife. Mr. Lambert would always go out in the evening and sit in an old comfortable chair in his front yard until it got dark outside. By the time I was nine or ten I would go down and sit with Mr. Lambert. We had great conversations. Listening to him was like having a living history lesson. You see, Mr. Lambert at that time was well into his eighties. He had not only seen it all, but lived through it all. From the great depression to the world wars.

I know one of the reasons for my need to spend time with the Lamberts was the fact that I had only one living Grandparent, my Grandmother on my Father's side and never really got an opportunity to spend any time with her. So there was this inner yearning for connecting with that generation.

I learned so much from Mr. Lambert including a formula that I still use today. I call it ASL. It stands for Ask, Shut Up, and Listen. I learned more from him about real history than any text book could offer me. After all aren't text books someone's opinion or perception of historical events. You can't always believe all that you read. Everyday, I would try to do my homework in the school bus on the way home so that I could do my chores and then go and sit with Mr. Lambert. I would also do chores for he and Mrs. Lambert just to be able to spend time with them.

My parents taught me right from wrong. The Lamberts showed me how to apply it through the way they conducted themselves. The way they treated each other, even the way they disagreed was a lesson. I think that so much is lost in our society today. Children don't get the opportunity to interact with our living history as much as in the past. In the past when grandparents got on in age they would live with their children and grandchildren. By doing that they passed on family history, traditions, and stories. They helped to pass on lessons in respect, compassion, and empathy. As adults I think it's important to spend time with our living history. Visiting regularly with senior family members, neighbors, or visiting someone in a seniors home.

In closing, the next time you think about reading a history book, why don't you go instead and talk to one. It will be better for you and it will brighten another persons day.

What is Your Agenda?

"Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager."

---Keith Elkins

Do you start the day with a to do list or agenda of what you want to get accomplished? I know that I do. I need that daily checklist or agenda of things that I need to accomplish, just to stay on task. However, I found that many times I would get derailed from my agenda by the agenda of everyone around me, family, friends, and co-workers. At the end of the day I would look at what I set out to accomplish that day and experience a level of frustration because I didn't even get close.

I would let others impose what they needed to get done on me as if it were more important then what I had planned to accomplish for myself. I am not talking about being selfish and self centered. I am not talking about not being willing to help others. I am talking about you not being responsible for other's to do list. Time management is pretty much a joke. TIME MARCHES ON! We cannot manage time, but we can manage ourselves and our priorities. So, I learned to say "NO"! That was difficult for me because my nature is to help others. But at the end of the day I started to feel a sense of resentment towards the people around me that I love and care about. Not a great feeling to have. Then I discovered that it wasn't their fault at all. It was my responsibility to manage my time as I see fit.

What are your top three priorities for the day?

Because my nature was always to drop everything when someone wanted me to, I discovered that I had literally trained them to expect me to do so. Saying NO was quite the surprise for them. I have developed what I call The Rule of Three. I list in my planner the top three most important things for me to accomplish that day and I stay focused on just that. After doing this I feel better about what I get accomplished and have retrained the people around me to not always expect me to drop all of my priorities for theirs. I now guard my time and my agenda. Funny thing is that it has actually empowered those people around me to do the same for themselves. Interesting how just saying NO can empower everyone.