What's your Bucket List?

We have all heard of the bucket list. That's that list of things that you want to do before you die. I was really moved by the Movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman titled "The Bucket List". After watching it I pondered what my bucket list was. I started to think about things that I wanted to accomplish, places I wanted to travel, things that I wanted to learn, and people I would like to meet. Then it came to me, instead of emptying the the bucket I wanted to create a fill the bucket list.

Isn't life really about the journey not the destination. It's the ride that's most exciting. Accomplishing goals is only one small piece to life. Sure you get that sense of completion and accomplishment. But then what? For me owning or acquiring more STUFF is not important at all. When you are on your death bed will you think about all the stuff you had? Or will you think about relationships, experiences, travel, your contribution to your family, community, and the world?

Think of the times when you went somewhere you have never been. When you experienced something like a roller coaster ride for the first time. When you did something totally selfless for another person without expecting anything in return. That's the most meaningful way to fill your bucket.

Life Lesson:

1. Make a list of things that you can fill your bucket with.
2. Break it down into people, places, and things, with more emphasis on the first two.
3. Next to each one write down the feeling you will experience when you put them in your bucket.

Now get started! Remember if you don't take the time to do the lessons then you are no closer to filling that bucket.

Are you Here?

Forever is composed of nows.

--Emily Dickenson

That old phrase "Stop and smell the roses" has incredible wisdom to it. To me, the most important word is "STOP"! In society today we are so hyper stimulated with the pace of things we forget to stop and seek out what inspires us. With the internet, cell phones, facebook, twitter, ipod, ipads, laptops and whatever else you can think of we are so connected all the time we have forgotten how to disconnect. After all, what is life all about? Don't get me wrong, I use technology just like everyone else but I have learned that there is an off button.


Don't we need to find our inspiration in order to recharge our mental, physical, and spiritual batteries. WHAT INSPIRES YOU. It could be music, art, biking, reading, hiking, writing, yoga, or anything that helps you to get grounded and totally develop the art of being in the present. There are certain people that I make sure that I spend time with that inspire me. I love to read biographies about people who have made a difference in not just their own lives but the lives of others. Reading about their victories and the challenges and obstacles that they had to overcome. That inspires me.

Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed. -- Wayne Dyer

Spend time with children and PLAY. Reconnect with their innocence and the simple way they approach life. They are not thinking about the future or past but being totally in the moment. What a skill that truly is. I have been a professional martial arts educator for close to thirty years. I have a friend that I have trained with over the years that goes to Japan every few years to train with his master who is in his eighties. My friend told me of a powerful lesson that he learned the last time he went to Japan to train. His master had him watch other students as they practiced their movements and explained that you can tell the personality of a student by the way they perform their movements.

Life is a great and wondrous mystery, and the only thing we know that we have for sure is what is right here right now. Don't miss it. -- Leo Buscaglia

He said that if a student is always leaning forward and into the movement that they are too focused on the future. While another student is always leaning back because they are stuck in the past. My friend's master said that true mastery means that you are centered, not leaning forward or backward and totally in the moment. That example really helped me personally as a teacher and communicator.

Spend Time with Living History.

When I was five years old my family moved to a farm. My parents rented a house on the farm that happened to be next door to an elderly couple, Mr. & Mrs. Lambert. They were the parents of the farm owners wife. Mr. Lambert would always go out in the evening and sit in an old comfortable chair in his front yard until it got dark outside. By the time I was nine or ten I would go down and sit with Mr. Lambert. We had great conversations. Listening to him was like having a living history lesson. You see, Mr. Lambert at that time was well into his eighties. He had not only seen it all, but lived through it all. From the great depression to the world wars.

I know one of the reasons for my need to spend time with the Lamberts was the fact that I had only one living Grandparent, my Grandmother on my Father's side and never really got an opportunity to spend any time with her. So there was this inner yearning for connecting with that generation.

I learned so much from Mr. Lambert including a formula that I still use today. I call it ASL. It stands for Ask, Shut Up, and Listen. I learned more from him about real history than any text book could offer me. After all aren't text books someone's opinion or perception of historical events. You can't always believe all that you read. Everyday, I would try to do my homework in the school bus on the way home so that I could do my chores and then go and sit with Mr. Lambert. I would also do chores for he and Mrs. Lambert just to be able to spend time with them.

My parents taught me right from wrong. The Lamberts showed me how to apply it through the way they conducted themselves. The way they treated each other, even the way they disagreed was a lesson. I think that so much is lost in our society today. Children don't get the opportunity to interact with our living history as much as in the past. In the past when grandparents got on in age they would live with their children and grandchildren. By doing that they passed on family history, traditions, and stories. They helped to pass on lessons in respect, compassion, and empathy. As adults I think it's important to spend time with our living history. Visiting regularly with senior family members, neighbors, or visiting someone in a seniors home.

In closing, the next time you think about reading a history book, why don't you go instead and talk to one. It will be better for you and it will brighten another persons day.

What's Your Face Value?

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

What face do you take with you everyday? Is it one that when people see it they look forward to it or try to avoid it. I am not talking about the physical structure of the face you are born with. I am talking about how you structure your face. What expression do you use most? If you find that most people avoid you or would prefer not to interact with you then you might need to change your face. Not with plastic surgery but with a different expression.


I guess what I am really trying to say is SMILE!!! A smile makes you feel better and makes the people around you feel better. It's not always easy. There are times when you need to Fake It Til You Feel It! But when you develop the habit of smiling more just like laughing regularly you literally signal your brain to release endorphins into your system that are known as the feel good chemical. It's been proven that endorphins are more powerful than heroin. The best part is that it's legal and FREE. Let's face it, there are days when we need to just decompress and take a nap. It is impossible to feel great all the time. That's alright! How about we decide to walk around feeling good at least most of the time.

A smile is infectiuos,

You can catch it like the flu,

Someone smiled at me today,

And I started smiling too.

How infectious are you? Do you inject people with viruses or vitality? I know that I have developed the habit of smiling when I most need it.That is when I start to feel angry or upset with someone or something. I know that if I can smile then I can laugh and that helps me to keep control of my anger or frustration at any given time. You may say that It's not that easy, and you are correct. What habit is easy. It takes focus, practice, and commitment. The more you focus on it and stay committed to it, the easier it gets.

Just think how it feels the next time that you see someone coming towards you that may have an expression on their face that is less than open and inviting. Those are the same feelings and signals that you send if you are using the same expression. I know one thing about life. The older I get the more I realize that my thoughts, expressions, and feelings are all really dependent on what I decide they should be, and not what others or the environment decides they should be.

You will be a much more effective communicator and a whole lot happier if you just get in the habit of SMILING. What's your face worth?

What is Your Agenda?

"Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager."

---Keith Elkins

Do you start the day with a to do list or agenda of what you want to get accomplished? I know that I do. I need that daily checklist or agenda of things that I need to accomplish, just to stay on task. However, I found that many times I would get derailed from my agenda by the agenda of everyone around me, family, friends, and co-workers. At the end of the day I would look at what I set out to accomplish that day and experience a level of frustration because I didn't even get close.

I would let others impose what they needed to get done on me as if it were more important then what I had planned to accomplish for myself. I am not talking about being selfish and self centered. I am not talking about not being willing to help others. I am talking about you not being responsible for other's to do list. Time management is pretty much a joke. TIME MARCHES ON! We cannot manage time, but we can manage ourselves and our priorities. So, I learned to say "NO"! That was difficult for me because my nature is to help others. But at the end of the day I started to feel a sense of resentment towards the people around me that I love and care about. Not a great feeling to have. Then I discovered that it wasn't their fault at all. It was my responsibility to manage my time as I see fit.

What are your top three priorities for the day?

Because my nature was always to drop everything when someone wanted me to, I discovered that I had literally trained them to expect me to do so. Saying NO was quite the surprise for them. I have developed what I call The Rule of Three. I list in my planner the top three most important things for me to accomplish that day and I stay focused on just that. After doing this I feel better about what I get accomplished and have retrained the people around me to not always expect me to drop all of my priorities for theirs. I now guard my time and my agenda. Funny thing is that it has actually empowered those people around me to do the same for themselves. Interesting how just saying NO can empower everyone.

Who Are You Laughing At?

A long laugh and a good sleep are the best cures in a doctor's book.

--- Irish Proverb

It's been proven that laughter is a healthy and healing habit. So, why don't we do it more often? The medical community has done countless studies that show that comedy, and laughter actually aid in improving psychological, and physiological well being.The greatest skill we can develop as individuals is the skill of laughing at ourselves. As preschoolers we found it easy to laugh. Then when we started our schooling, we developed fears of being laughed at by our peers or being the focus of a joke. Making a mistake in front of others became painful and created fear of failure, criticism, and humiliation.

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

Woody Allen

Overcoming those fears involves you accepting that failing and making mistakes is a part of a process. Failing forward is an important lesson. Like falling down, if you fall forward, when you get up you are just a little closer to your objective. Provided that you learn from it. The process in learning what not to do and how to correct it. No individual that has experienced any level of success in any area of life has always made the perfect decisions. Keep your sense of humor, and learn to laugh at yourself and not take yourself too serious.

How Big is Your BUT?

"What you do speaks so loud I can't hear what you say".

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you know anyone that is always talking about what they want to be, do, or have yet you never see them do, be , or have any of those things they talk about. Then when you ask about what they wanted to do, be, or have you find out how big their BUT is. Of course I'm not talking about their physical backside. I am talking about their psychological backside. When asked they always say Yeah BUT the weather was bad. Yeah BUT I don't have enough time. Yeah BUT I'm not smart enough. Yeah BUT I don't have enough money. Yeah But my spouse doesn't agree. Does your BUT resemble this?I know that in the past mine has.

Watch your words. They will develop a mindset that will literally paralyze you from taking action on the things you want to do, be, and have. The YEAHBUT is a mysterious and elusive creature like the Lock Ness Monster. Every time you turn around somebody says that they have seen it or a mysterious picture is taken of something that looks like the monster. The YEAHBUT monster will keep you from achieving the things that you want, simply by calling it's name. Work on replacing YEAH BUT with What If? How can I?

He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.

Benjamin Franklin

Most definitly when a phrase starts off with a YEAH BUT it is followed with self sabatoge and excuses. Sometimes it makes us comfortable because we have found a reason or excuse to not acheive. Is that really the person that you want to be? Taking baby steps consistently will help us to get closer to doing, being, and having everything that we want. And just remember, when babies start taking their first steps they very often fall on their Buts. Get started today taking those steps and when you fall on your But then you know it's behind you and not in front of you anymore.